It Gets Better

Today I just want to share that while living with anxiety and depression isn’t fun, with time and treatment,  it gets better.  I am at a place where stress is real in my life and to a certain extent anxiety is present as well.  However, I am thankful the depression isn’t strong. I am living proof that their is more than misery, that it gets better.

At one point in time, I was told that due to my anxiety and depression that I had a “meager” chance of happiness. And for a while I believed that lie. But now, I don’t think that’s true. My life isn’t easy and yes anxiety still creeps in more than I would like, but my life and my happiness is so much more than I often thought it could be. I saw for myself that it gets better.

 As 11 year old me, plagued with severe anxiety, panic attacks, extreme shyness, I didn’t realize that I would become 27, have many friends, experience panic attacks only occasionally, and not have the anxiety as an all consuming force in my life. I didn’t realize that counseling and hard work would help me so much. I later learned that, it gets better.

As 19 year old me, plagued with deep depression, anger over my teenage years of not fitting in, feeling like I wanted escape from an emotional hell, engaging in self destructive thoughts and behaviors, I didn’t realize 27 year old me would not feel particularly depressed, would have survived multiple depressive episodes, would have hope and feel hopeful, would have more gratitude than angst. I didn’t realize that after a year of torment, during which I went to counseling, prayed through tears of sadness and anger, worked to implement skills my brain told me wouldn’t help, that one day I would see that it gets better. 

As 25/26 year old me, plagued with a fear of my dreams never coming true, feeling like a poor fit, just feeling an overwhelming discontent that chewed at my core, I didn’t realize 27 year old me would be more content and that my dreams would start coming true after I learned to practice graditude. Through counseling that forced me to be brutally honest with myself and spiritual guidance to look at life through eyes of thankfulness, I realized it gets better.

As 27 year old me, I am still growing and struggling and learning. But I am at a place of greater peace, greater self acceptance, greater ability to deal with life’s unpredictability,  greater stability. I still struggle with anxiety. Frankly, it is in the background on a daily basis. But most days, it doesn’t rule my life. Some days sadness peaks through but rarely does that lead to feeling truly depressed. 

Dealing with anxiety and depression is a process but hope is real. Hope says it gets better. 

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