It is definitely normal to have a certain amount of anxiety when doing new things. It motivates us to prepare appropriately. However, anxiety can be problematic if it is excessive or overly pervasive.
While my anxiety level is not extremely high, I do notice some increase in my anxiety, not only about the new transitions but also about multiple other things. This has made me realize that my anxiety is sometimes a struggle for me in this season of my life. This is related to living with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
For me, how the anxiety looks and feels varies. It manifests in fears of things not working out or screwing up. It comes in fears of “what if I can’t do this well?”. It comes in worrying if not wanting to drive 45mins to ask a few questions and emailing them instead could be frowned upon even when I am told it’s fine not to come in. It comes in having difficulty relaxing, feeling bad if I skip the gym but also bad if I don’t get a day of rest from time to time. Sometimes, it feels like I have accomplished a ton while simultaneously accomplishing nothing. It is a voice that I sometimes have to share about and get reassurance regarding.
In general, my life is not dominated by anxiety and I typically function well. However, anxiety is in the background, and has at least a small impact on most of my life almost all of the time. Occasionally, it is in the forefront and obsessive in nature.
So, as I experience exciting changes in my life, I also acknowledge that the very things I am so happy about also serve to be a mild trigger for my own anxiety. But that is OK. So far, I am calmer during these changes than I have been in the past during transitions and I continue to grow in my own ability to effectively cope when I feel anxiety strike.
The truth is an anxiety disorder does not care who you are. However, it also does not define who you are. It makes things more challenging but not impossible.
I share all of this to give a glimpse of what Generalized Anxiety Disorder looks like in a high functioning person, to show the interaction between transition related anxiety and generalized anxiety, to share that anxiety disorders can affect anyone (even someone who works in the field), and to show that you can live well with an anxiety disorder.