Coping with Single Awareness (Valentine’s) Day

   

     For a lot of people, Valentine’s Day can be a painful and lonely reminder of their single status. For some, they have been single for a long time and long to finally be in a romantic relationship and have a valentine. For others, they have recently gotten out of a romantic relationship and are dealing with the reality that they won’t be celebrating V-Day with that significant other, whom they may have pictured this holiday being spent with. 

As someone who is both a mental health professional and personally single, I feel like I can offer some insights and suggestions that can help you better cope with single awareness/valentine’s day:

1. Know that even as a single person you are loved and valuable. Your relationship status does not define your worth. You have friends, family, and God who love you. Your value is intrinsic and innate. As a human being, you are of worth. You are a unique individual who is special and gifted in your own way.

2. Being single does not make you are a loser and it doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you. Sometimes, people are single because they choose not to settle for people who are not a good fit for them. Sometimes, people are single because they are driven and career focused. Sometimes, people are in a stage of life or personal growth that would be nearly impossible to navigate if they were in a relationship.

3. You can use this holiday to spend time with and/or show love and affection to those you have non-romantic love for. Go to a Galentines party, write a card telling your friends what you love about them, or call your parents or another important relative and tell them you love them. 

4. It is okay to wish you had a relationship and to appreciate & desire to have the kind of relationships others have. I am able to be honest with myself that I would like to do life with a boyfriend or spouse. I look at some couples and go it would be so nice to have the kind of relationship.It is healthy to acknowledge these desires. But it is not healthy to ruminate and obsess in a jealous fashion. 

5. Think about what you have accomplished as a single. I get to have the satisfaction of knowing that I am able to support myself financially. I have obtained degrees and gotten into my career field without having to depend on a significant other. Think of what you have accomplished in spite of not having a significant other.

6. If the sadness and loneliness of being single gets to be too much, reach out. This may be by talking to a friend, talking to a mentor, talking to a crisis line, etc.

7. Being single allows you to help others in ways that those in a relationship can’t. Example, being single allows me to take an overnight shift at the hospital so my coworker with a spouse can spend V-Day with her. 

I hope these insights and tips are helpful!

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